Relaxing Music

I just found this. I’ve not listened to the whole thing, but so far I really like it. Tell me what you think.

I’ve been so very stressed and angry lately. I have got to calm down. I’m suffering in my classes and in my mind.

This is my last quarter before I graduate. I’m going to try to make it my best one. First, get my emotions under control.

I have to keep reminding myself…

I’m UNSTOPPABLE!

Watch “Relaxing Piano Music: Beautiful Music, Romantic Music, Relaxing Music, Sleep Music ★136” on YouTube

Bipolar – Should I Go Back to College?

So…. I’ve applied and been accepted at the UWT (University of Washington at Tacoma). If I get all the funding I need I’m considering going back to college full-time.

Now, is this a good idea? I would be pursuing a Bachelors in Creative Writing (which would probably help the quality of my writing in my blogs). Is my Bipolar so disabling that I should not go?

Could I keep my wits about me? I did when I was younger. I loved school. I love to learn. I really love to learn. I wouldn’t be going just to go, I have a specific reason for going. I want to write better and it would be nice to put that BA after my name, especially when I’m doing specific, serious writing. It might lend a little credibility to my name when I’m publishing books and such. (Sometimes I feel like I’ll never finish the book I’m working on.)

I’m wondering if I will still be sane if I try to pull off doing MORE. I do my best (or used to anyway) under pressure. Going back to college would definitely do that. I’ve got several other projects I’m working on. Will it take away too much time from them? Or would the added work press me to finish faster? I think either is possible.

My youngest daughter, Sydney, has mono right now. She’s had some serious pain with it which has been lousy. I took her to the ER the other night for pain in her spleen and totally missed my nighttime meds. Earlier in the week I had decided to be rebellious and I didn’t take my nighttime meds. That’s twice this week. And I’ve been getting up late and that’s put off my morning meds from being taken at regular times. The result… I reacted… no I OVER reacted to the kids and became very very angry about nothing. Seriously, I don’t even recall what it was.

If missing my meds twice in one week and the stress from my daughter being sick (I don’t think I’ve properly grieved my father’s passing yet either.) allowed me to flip out, what will happen if I have extra stress (mentally, emotionally and physically too. I’ll be much tireder as well with the demand on me to drive 45 minutes to school and back for classes).

Will it be too much for me?

Then there is the consideration of needing to have time to see my med provider and my pain management person when I need to. They aren’t in the same town. School is in Tacoma while both appointments are in Puyallup and there isn’t a short and easy way to get from one to the other.

Will I eat better or worse? What about Bailey? (the puppy)

There is so much to consider.

At the moment I shall go forward with attending school in the fall. I will also be prepared not to go. This way I’ll be emotionally ready for either option.

Oh, and my counselor, the fourth and I think finally the best, at the facility I go to is out indefinitely for medical reasons. Terrific. I wish her all the best and hope she will be well. I will also miss her. In the meantime they have me seeing a peer counselor each week. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, but she’s not a counselor.

Here I am. Thinking about putting myself into a stressful situation again. But you know, it might be better for me than being at home alone while the kids are gone. Stay tuned…

Be well,

Robin