Bipolar – Stress

Mindfulness Week 2

Here I am, about to enter the second week of my meditation/mindfulness experiment.

How is it going?

After the first three days I’d say my tick was reduced by 60-70%. It was amazing. The meditation seemed to reduce the amount of stress I was feeling and promoted feelings of peace (compared to the previous week). I believe (and the fact that I “believe” helps too) it’s helping me. There is another way to measure whether it’s helping or not.

On the fourth day life encouraged me not to have time to sit my butt down and meditate. This repeated on Friday. By Saturday morning the tick was back in full. It was just horrible. My son asked me if I’d had meditated. The answer of course was no.

I asked both kids (17 and 20 years old) to stay in their rooms for the next 30 minutes so I could meditate. By this time it was evening and I meditated until my back pain started up and I had to take something for it. Still, this morning I feel better and the tick is some 90% gone… Depending on what’s going on or who I’m talking to and what we’re talking about.

After my somewhat successful meditation I played a video game on an easy setting and shot lumbering bad guys.

The muscle cramp in my right butt muscles is actually mellowing out some. Just some. We’ll see if that comes next.

I believe the stress inherent in being Bipolar is the source of my tick. Well, that’s not entirely true. All my stress is causing it. Being Bipolar is sort of like a mental tick. Sometimes it’s controlled and sometimes it isn’t.

I’ve done all my homework for the coming week and am pretty ready to begin again. (Saturday will normally be my day to rest from relaxing…

Thanks for stopping by.

Have a good week my friend.


Bipolar – Meditation Day 1

My first day of my meditation workbook was frustrating. I was fine watching the videos and reading the materials they posted for us to read and I was fine. I did this common meditation thing where you start at your toes and feel what each body part is experiencing. Wait, what I mean is… I’m not sure yet. I understand on paper… now I just have to keep pushing along.

ADD to that my Bipolar mind screaming that it is time to get rid of this tick I can’t bite my tongue anymore! So I’ve pulled out another workbook my med provider gave me that I promptly put on the kitchen table. Later the spine remained unbent and it moved to a bookcase. Now I’ve got it out again and I’m ready to learn.

Talk about being thick headed. oy veh

The workbook is called The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. Its big. 481 pages and none of them are part of an index. I’m skipping ahead for a bit and doing the chapter on Relaxing. That’s me. Yep.

And I’m publishing a book, and writing another one, and reading 4 books, and training Bailey (my beautiful and very smart dog), and, and, and, going back to school (if I can manage to get the funds to do so), and, and, trying to stop ticking (a full time job that one is). You get the idea. Never one thing at a time. Never stopping. Always moving.

I’ve been sleeping well. Surprise!

Oh my god! this dog is insane. My cats like to take the dog’s things like going in her kennel and laying on her spot on the sofa and eating her food and drinking her water. You get the idea. They’re sassy. Bailey just went flying past me and into her kennel carrying a wash cloth. Yes, a wash cloth. Then she came back out and did that thing they do when they’re getting ready to sleep to her bed and moved it away from her kennel. She then plopped down on the bed. Oops! She’s up again and sees one of her toys. She retrieves it and drops it by her bed which she promptly plopped down in. Up! Again. Back on the sofa in her spot with her head on the arm of it. Now she’s finally stopped. She’s curled up in a little ball. Her ears are still twitching hearing a noisy dishwasher in the kitchen, Ah, she’s still now. But you know what? When I stand up she’s going to wake up again. She’s only 1 year old so she’s still a puppy. She’ll sleep with me tonight. Seems like we’re made for each other.

Good night my friends. I have some more reading to do.

Be well