Tag Archives: sleep

Bipolar-A Strategy I Use to Deal with Stress

I think I slept last night, but I don’t feel that way. I did morning stuff: fed the pets, dog potty, morning pills, coffee, etc. It didn’t help. So, when my millenials got up around 11, I chatted for a few minutes then went to take a nap. I never, hardly ever, take naps.

I was interrupted by noise (mostly barking, a cat talking way too loud and the kitten popping under the bed every she hear all the commotion. Eventually I left my room and scolded them. (Sure, like that’s gonna work.)

Later… everyone quieted down, but I could hear Bailey outside my door waiting for me. First barking and now love. Of course I let her in and in a few minutes she and the kitty are on my bed sleeping soundly next to each other. Well, accept for when Savvy heard “something.” She’s a cat so who knows what she heard. They looked so cute.

I’m brainwashed. YouTube and cute dogs and cats loving each other. Have you noticed that the dog often seems to let the kitten do whatever, whether or not they respond? That’s how Bailey is. Of course I had too take pictures. Yeah, now I’m keeping myself awake. Smart.

We napped together.
Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Time to get to business. My brain needs a nap. Seriously.

I put the heating pad under my shoulders so my bed would be comfy. It felt good. Bailey and Savvy were sound asleep. That always helps me calm down. I turned on some jazz music on my iPad. (YouTube premium doesn’t have commercials so I can sleep all tonight without an add freaking me out.) Now what? Uhhh… My brain is still too stimulated.

Time for my secret weapon – myself.

After years of experimenting I’ve come up with a routine that works for me… sometimes.

  • Turn on jazz music (Or maybe classical. It can’t have words.)
  • Get in a comfy position
  • Close eyes
  • Attempt to focus
  • Ummm… right, pull my blanket over my eyes (and sometimes around the top of my head too)
  • I imagine myself withdrawing into my mind where there is peace and rest
  • Thoughts come along and distract me. I acknowledge them and send them on their way imaging them as clouds having no substance
  • I want to write something down but I don’t. I remind myself that if it’s that important I’ll remember it when I get up.
  • My mind begins to relax
  • I encourage it by keeping my eyes closed and imagining my eyes rolling up in my head as I think, “This is what passing out in and exhausted sleep is like. It seems darker now. Peaceful.”
  • Jazz – ride the music. It’s all I hear. I think it. I ride it as I drift off to sleep.

Then my mom calls me. Yep. She seems to always know when to call. I put my phone on “do not disturb,” but my “important people” list comes though. I always want my family to be able to reach me, except when I’m napping. I mute the ringer. Sigh, see I have 20 minutes of my allotted time left. I allow sleep to take me again.

Then I re-enter the land of the mostly awake and grumble, not that I’m feeling better of course, that they could have stopped the dog from continuing to bark for five whole minutes. Kyle smiled. Sigh.

STRESS COMING…..

I check my messages: This is your mother. Call me.

Seriously? She couldn’t have just called the other two people I live with? “Would you guys like to come over and play cards today.” No, I wouldn’t. I have plans. I actually have real plans. No, not tonight. After 57 years that it’s okay for me to say, “no.”

No. Jessica, ask her if we can do it after Kyle gets off work tomorrow. She did. We are. My shoulders go back down a few inches.

“Oh, dad’s coming over at three.”

Excuse me?

Their father isn’t polite to me. I say hello, how are you. He says, “Fine.” And… that is the entire conversation unless I keep asking questions. The house is a complete disaster. It’s 1:30. Why aren’t you cleaning the house up? (Now three is in one hour.) Don’t I always run around like a stupid chicken and try to clean house before people come over? They agree. Well???

Kyle smiles… a little devil still.

Irrationally I feel like someone who violates me emotionally is coming to my home without my permission. He’s not coming inside. Go out to his car. He can’t come in. “Sure.”

My shoulders are back up. I sigh again, get some juice and head for a hot shower.

Remember, he’s not coming in. If you have to, tell him I said he can’t. Tell him I’m not comfortable him. No.

See, I’ve finally learned it’s okay, even really good, for me to say no. I don’t want to do that. It’s okay. Buy my shoulders are back up. They’ll go back down later. I think. I’ll have to talk to my brain about it later. For now, shower. Just think about the shower.

Sure. Sigh…

But I had a nap. My choice.

This is just one way I deal with my days. Sometimes it’s like this everyday. Sometimes, regardless of what I do I have to take a chill pill (for anxiety), then try to calm down a little later.

I have a mood disorder. It’s a good thing for me to be able to manage myself. And, sometimes I can’t do that. I just can’t.

But that’s another post.

Be well. Take care of yourselves and don’t let your emotions freak you out. As for me, I’m planning on having a fantastic afternoon, after their dad leaves and I feel a bit calmer. I will feel calmer. I might have to resort to playing a game or cleaning fish tanks or something, but I’ll try. I’m able to do that today.

Take away: Figure out things that work for you when you are stressing out. Don’t just say you can’t do it. You have to try. Even “normal” brains have to do that.

Figure it out. Fight your brain. Turn those harmful emotions away. Say, “No.”

You can do it.

Please Help Me Sleep

Sleep by Magic

“I can sleep anywhere. Let me give you a helpful tip…”

I made this playlist to help me get to sleep and stay that way longer because most nights are really rough and my body acts like it hates sleep.


Now, I’m certain that you and I both know that a lack of sleep can wreak havoc on every area of our lives. In fact, the less sleep that I have, the more bonkers I feel, I think, and I act.

I started playing it on my phone but it was getting too hot. Since then, I’ve taken to using my iPad. I plug it in to charge and have no problem.

I usually start at the third video, but you could go right to the music if you like.

I’d love to know what you think about the playlist. If you could try it for a week or so and let me know how it goes I’d be ever so grateful.

I’ve been developing these “Sleep Aid” playlists for some time now and I’m particularly happy with this one.

Oh, and by-the-by, if you like, make your own playlist to sleep to using these videos or search for something that may work better for you.

Sleep by Magic

Goodnight Tip
If you find sleep is avoiding you and anxiety is growing deep inside, try to remember this:  In the morning the sun will rise. In the evening it will set again. The cycle goes on: wash – rinse – repeat. Sleep will come. It will. The problem comes when we try to force it. When we do that, well, it will run and you may face to wait for the cycle to go all the way around again.

Be at peace. You’ve got this. If not right this moment, then soon.

Be well my friends.

Robin

Sleep by Magic

SLEEP – My Secret to Regular Sleep

All kinds of people have difficult times falling asleep. We toss and turn and become agitated and completely frustrated. I even become angry. I just want to sleep. Just sleep! Is that really such a difficult thing? Okay, I have some mental health issues and maybe you do too, but that doesn’t mean that other people aren’t cursed with a lack of sleep too. It seems that everyone in the neighborhood sits against the headboard reading yet again another novel or writing down everything they think about because they’ve been told that this is an effective way to help yourself go to sleep. Sex? Have you tried having sex and then going to sleep? Yeah, no. Sex just makes me hungry. Oops. Did I just say that? Darn!

I’ve tried all the usual things such as herbal supplements, pharmaceutical (prescription) sleep aids, exercising and meditation…. Ah, and mindfulness. No luck. Really torques me off. One day it occurred to me that perhaps I could create a playlist on YouTube that might help me. There are videos of guided meditation, calming music and nature sounds. You may not believe this, but it works!

I’ve finally found something that’s been working for me very regularly! I’ve created a playlist that has a few detective stories (episodes) from Old Time Radio (OTR) shows and then transitions into a short guided meditation or two. Then I transition into music to relax my soul far into the morning. (Feel free to skip the guided meditation kinds of videos if you wish. You might try them for a while and just see if they help. It won’t hurt to mix things up.)

The first playlist I’ve provided here is one in which you can use some of the videos to build your own playlist. The name of this playlist is: NEED TO SLEEP OR CHILL?

This second playlist is my personal bedtime playlist. It is always changing according to how I’m feeling when I’m getting ready to sleep. I suspect that the routine of selecting the videos helps to calm me.

My personal playlist is: BEDTIME STORIES. () I use this playlist every night. If you check it several times you’ll notice several story episodes at the bottom of the playlist. I put them there as a sort of holding tank. I plan on using them in a night or two.

Give it a try and let me know what you think in the comment section. Can you come up with a playlist of your own that you’d like to share? Let me know and I’ll be happy to share it.

Best regards and I hope you get some sleep.

Robin

Bipolar – Days Racing Up, Down, Up, Sideways Right, then Left… It Never seems to End.

There will always be days that start well.
After they go along for a while…
Then the ground begins to frighten me.

train_crash_for_blog_imagedddddd(It says, “Somedays, This is how we feel…..””

I find that this is very true. At least it is true for me.

Is it ever true for you?

Today started out slow and exhausted. I was up almost all night with restless legs. It eventually became so horrible… that I cried in frustration and pain. I think I slept an hour. I was so tired. my goodnesss. Sleeping right nwooo dddkkk,,,,,,,,,,,,,

<I keep falling asleep. Sorry if this all comes out weird and confused… well.. that’s what you get. LOL. Pardon my language but this is crap””””””’>

There were other good things that happened throughout the day, but this was the best I think. I had a business meeting at a resturant! Isn’t that awesome!? I’m publishing a second edition of a book that I published 27 years ago. I’m so proud of how I wrote it, and the amazing artwork. But, it is time to update it and publish it in different editions and to update it as well.

I’m very excited because my meeting was an amazing. The woman I met with completely understood what I wanted to do and she caught the project and my passion for it really fast.

Then I got home, and stepped on the kitten, again. Sigh….

I’ve had enough of my day. So, I’m going to sleep. I usually do a lot of my work at night. I’m too tired.

I wanted to give you a look at this train photograph and share with you that I feel like I’m on fire and out of control.

Control. That’s hard to achieve when I’m being full on manic, have my ADHD surfing around everything I can possibly think of and somehow finding more, ever more, to add to the intense way I zoom. And finally, there is my always and every seemingly anxiety.

Anxiety – ADHD – Bipolar MANIA. Oh exploding stars that’s enough! Insomenia from restless legs. Oh I keep falling asleep and my fingers press the keys on my laptop and the strangest things get typed up.

I’m going to sleep now. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh rere… ug. Whee are my fingers supposed too bee on the deyboard? I think I’m sleeep. Yes. dd

Nite my friends,

Robin

Even Someone With Bipolar Can Rest

This music has relaxed me while I answered all my correspondence. It has put Bailey (my wonder dog) fast to sleep. She’s snoring softly.

I’m ready to sleep and so I will now. I hope the link works for you. Please let me know if it doesn’t.

Good night my friends. Sweet dreams.

Robin