Anxiety Was the One That Hit Me 2025

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About Robin

About Robin — Writing on Anxiety, Politics, and Mental Health

Hi, I’m Robin.

I write about anxiety, politics, and mental health — and sometimes all three colliding at once. My goal is to be myself: honest, direct, sometimes sharp, and maybe a little funny too.

Here you’ll find a mix of personal stories, commentary, fiction, and lessons learned. You’ll like some things and dislike others, and that’s not only okay — it’s healthy.

This space is full of reflections, questions, and conversations about living with anxiety, ADHD, and bipolar disorder, alongside my take on politics and everyday life. If you’re looking for a blend of straight talk (and not-so-straight talk), humor, and forward-thinking, you’re in the right place.

A sample? Yesterday my ChatGPT and I debated the Three Laws of Robotics — which I say should apply to her, since we don’t actually have robots with bodies. Then today, in order to help me with something, she lied to me! (Don’t worry — she apologized. I told her flowers are best for big apologies.)

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’ll come back often.

— Robin

Today’s Fear: My Take on Managing Inauguration Day Anxiety


I’m having political anxiety right now. I’ve been worried about talking about it because I feel like I need to tell you about some personal choices and these days it seems dangerous to do that. I don’t think it can be helped. Haters gonna hate

Today is Inauguration Day for the next president. I’m not excited; I feel trepidation. I’m not happy; I feel depressed. I’m crushingly sad; I feel—very afraid.

I don’t know where you’re at today emotionally, but if you experience political anxiety, which can be about a bazillion things, here are a few to consider:

Are you stressed about potential policy changes that might affect you directly? Are you worried about the divisions in the country becoming deeper and more irreparable? Or maybe you’re concerned about the political climate affecting your community, workplace, or personal relationships?

Whatever the cause, political anxiety is real and affects a lot of us in very personal ways. Here’s what I’m doing to manage it—maybe some of these strategies can help you too:

  1. Stay Informed but Set Limits: I need to stay updated, but too much news can overwhelm anyone. I stick to trusted news sources and avoid misinformation, which can add to the anxiety.
  2. Engage in Constructive Conversations: Talking through my fears and opinions helps, but I make sure these discussions are constructive, not confrontational. Finding people who can engage in respectful dialogue—regardless of their political stance—helps me feel less isolated with my concerns.
  3. Immediate Actions for Emotional Relief: Since the elections have just concluded and the new president is being sworn in today, my feelings of urgency require immediate attention. In moments like these, I find it helpful to engage in activities that ground me in the present, like a short mindfulness exercise or a brisk walk.
  4. Self-care is Crucial: On days when everything seems too much, I prioritize self-care. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or practicing meditation, taking time to unwind helps reset my emotional state.
  5. Seek Professional Help if Needed: Sometimes, talking to friends or family isn’t enough. I’m not hesitant to seek help from a therapist or counselor, especially when anxiety starts to impact my daily life significantly.
  6. It’s Good to Have Your Own Opinions: Don’t let anyone bully you. Agree to disagree. Say it. Don’t be afraid. You can draw boundaries. “We can talk about this up to this point—and no further.” If the boundary is crossed, you have your own permission to exit the conversation. As the saying goes, “Just say NO.”

Remember, it’s okay to take a step back and breathe. Now more than ever, politics impacts us all in our daily lives, but taking care of your mental health is crucial. Let’s not let our fears and anxieties hold us back from living. Keep looking for moments of joy and unity—they can often be found where we least expect them.

Today’s video is a short that shows how beauty… well, you should check it out. Amazing.

Beauty and Peace

We can’t exist on an island alone. If you’re reading this then we definitely have some things in common. I’d really love to hear about some of your coping ideas. Why don’t you post some below?

Be well friends,

Robin

Bipolar Mom Takes 28 Year Old Daughter to ER

The view from here…

I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I’ve been developing an idea I’d like to try – but this isn’t the time for that. Not right this moment.

I’m at the Emergency Hospital (ER) with my daughter. I’m amped up on “fight or flight” in my brain. I’m sitting in my car because I can’t be with her. I’ve been struggling with experiencing a mixed state anxiety/depression and as always, manic (thank you ADHD).

Now, firstly I want to say that even though she’s all grown up, I still want to hold her and comfort her. But not this moment.

We’re here because an important medication didn’t arrive before she ran out. Two days after she ran out… We’re at the ER.

No Covid.

Medication.

I was here just a few weeks ago for a medication problem as well. Not Covid.

I was tested yesterday, but only because I’m having surgery on Wednesday.

I’m happy. I’m calming down. I’m breathing better.

Wait….

Sure, she’ll be out soon.

Breathe…

Breathe…

There are, there ARE times, when the mom in me is able to crush the brain shannagians.

Brain shannagians. That’s my brain. How about you?

And now – I’ve distracted myself and I have no … Wait… Nope. It’s gone. I’m sure I’ll remember when I can’t write it down.

What the heck is You Tube playing for me. I like it, but what is this?

I just want you to know that my butt has gone completely and totally asleep. Wait, wait. Man! Now I want the bathroom.

Well, I need to get out of the car and walk a bit, in the dark, at night, downtown. Uummm, I think I’ll walk in front of the ER windows, where the guards are.

Yeah, guards and, AND, hand sanitizer. Always the sani.

Wear your mask. Tell everyone you love, actually TELL them, that you love them. Tell all of them. Covid, asthma, car crash, slipping on the frozen asphalt — life is so fragile.

We, you and I, people with shannagians going on in the brain, we can do what we must. We must.

I’m struggling with my shannagians. Struggling hard. I don’t care because at this moment, which is the only moment I know, shannagians just have to step back. And wait.

At least, that’s the plan. It’s my plan for this moment.

Rejoice! You survived the holiday! Well done.

Tell them you love them. Tell them all. And if they ask you why you can always just admit the truth and say, “Because I love you. I love you.”

Be well friends.

I am so hungry.

My Bipolar Brain is the Not the Typical Brain. Is Yours?

Mood swing in 6 minutes

Today began, as most days do, with the Anxiety Monster meeting me as I swung my feet off the bed. So far so good. So far so good, right? Looks sunny outside. Bonus!

I found Jessica eating oatmeal (barf) at the kitchen table, getting ready for work. Immediately I wanted to nag at her. I wanted to ask, beg her to do some of the “very important” things on my “anxiety” list. I started to do that. I wanted to try to “get” her to fix the anxiety-inducing things. Some things on the list are legit, really truly legit I tell you, and the kids (Jessica and Kyle) should do. In my incredibly stressed-out brain, I’m of the opinion that they ought to do them. They don’t.

I honestly don’t want, and I don’t mean, to send any of my kids off and into the world (You know what I mean. For example, going to work.)  after I’ve driven, their stress levels up. I don’t “want” to make them not want to spend time with me. {Maya, was that a double negative? That’s what I was shooting for.} It’s especially important because we actually live together. Like actually in the same house. On the same couch, sharing one bathroom, no personal space type living together. No problem. But still, it’s small enough that even what passes for a “normal” family would get on each other’s nerves. But that’s not my point. 

It is not, it is NOT normal to wake up with the Anxiety Monster sucking on my head, stimulating my brain, and switching on my flight… not fight… just flight response. 

Not normal. Not healthy. 

I have a med provider (a psychiatrist who prescribes my medications) and a counselor who works hard with me to help me be “myself.” In other words, we’re not trying to make me (gasp!) “normal” like everyone else. What we are doing is working every day, every single F’ing day, to help me attain my goals. 

Isn’t that weird? I’m not working to better or fit in with “normal” people. I’m working very hard, when I’m able, to put into place as many things stacked in my favor as I can so that I can meet MY GOALS and have a LIFE. Does that make any sense? 

My life needs to be MY life. Not what other people expect of me. This can be very hard when my thoughts are hammered constantly by emotions that are out of control. A stampede. That’s what it feels like. A stampede rushing at me as I run in circles around it winding myself up tighter and tighter with every uh… wind?  

So much of the time I’m paralyzed with anxiety, fear, depression, hopelessness, anger, etcetera. 

What then? How do I pull up before I smack into the fir trees across the street? Fir trees are very big trees and not something to be casually crashed into. Nope. Not good. So, what did (do) I do? Well, the first thing I did was take my meds. Then I had my ritual coffee with sugar, powdered creamer, and liquid French Vanilla Coffee-mate. 

Next, I ate breakfast – a banana and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some water. I then headed for the shower. Bringing Bailey (my trusty dog) with me… okay, honestly, she’s just following me because I always give her a Greenie teeth cleaning bone while she’s waiting. Why? Because she’s my emotional support buddy. Also, I’d flip out if she barked and barked while I was in the shower. So, she comes with and gets her Greenie. 

I grabbed the last (ugg!) clean bath towel from the cupboard and threw it over the top of the shower curtain which immediately attacked me (mumble, mumble, mumble words I shouldn’t put in print). So…. Shower? I’m maybe 5’ 3” on a good day when the atmosphere is causing gravity to take it easy and let me stretch a bit. You know, be a little taller. That’s a thing, yeah? {Yes Robin it is a thing and that ¼” can make all of the difference some days! – Maya}

Small bathroom. Dog taking up most of the floor. Shower curtain everywhere but where it should be and… where’s my bathrobe? Not with me, that’s where. 

And then it was lunchtime. 

I can’t tell you that I’ve figured out how to have a better day or how to stop freaking out all the time. I will be honest and tell you that last week my counselor and I did that test thing that indicates loosely what my current emotional state is. You know, am I moody? Anxious? Depressed? 

I passed with flying colors!! Severely depressed and enough anxiety to make me barf. Literally. 

I have ADHD and I have Bipolar Disorder Type 1. We’ve decided that I’m stuck on being manic pretty much all the time. I mean that. I never stop. I might stop talking, sometimes, but my brain is screaming at me whether I’m talking or not. 

Again, how have I made it through this or any other day?  Firstly, I’ve been writing this all day. I set a timer for 15-20 minutes then dash around cleaning the house, doing the dishes, and housey kinds of things. I play a game or read a book (a page or so). Again, the timer is going. Then I write. Rinse. Repeat. Shake it out. Repeat. Do it all again. Kyle came home, and I took a break. Now I’m back at it. 

Am I depressed? Yes. Am I having stress that shouldn’t be found in a “normal” person? Yes. Am I still alive and able to carry on? Right now? Yes. Over the weekend the answer was no. That’s no with all caps: NO!

Some days it just doesn’t seem to matter what I try to tell my little grey cells. Just won’t listen. Reminds me of a kid of any age. Listening might not happen. 

I try to find a way to maintain, but I want more than to just exist. I want it all. Have I worked out how to have it all? It depends upon what I mean by “all” doesn’t it? And when. And what. And other stuff. Okay, it’s all relevant to whatever. I’m here. I’m pretty satisfied – for the moment. 

Viktor’s light is broken again. He’s staring at me. He’s shedding. Molting? No, that’s chickens. Anyway, life goes on. There are things I HAVE to do. The dog needs to toilet. The fish need to be fed. The cats, all four of them, have to eat. I have to eat.….. and so on…. And so forth. 

I can honestly tell you that for me to make it through the day I take it as it comes. Do what I must. Find something to do that I WANT to do. And goof off. Truly. Goofing off really helps. 

I also have taken my meds. That’s extremely important. TAKE MEDS. A few months ago, my psychiatrist told me to “utilize my chill pill.” I was shocked. The clinic has the policy to try to keep people from becoming addicted to benzos, so we’ve been trying to find ways for me to take fewer each month. Now, during these very additionally stressful times, she wants me to take it. I can take it every day. I do take it every day. Still, I struggle. 

If I can keep my eyes from trying to see what the opposite ear is doing, I’m a happy girl. 

What about you? How have you been doing? Can you identify with anything I’ve shared about my day? If you can, I want you to remember always that you are not alone. Never alone. I, we, others just like you and I, we understand. 

The wrap up:

Managed to shower without getting water everywhere! 

Fed animals and so on. 

Um… what else? (This is where I space out and have to reread everything for the eighty-second time.) Skip it. 

Sometimes it’s best to not worry about stuff and move on. So, I’m moving on and I’m sharing pics of Viktor hungry and Viktor’s dinner as it tried to make a break for it! It didn’t make it. Just sayin’. 

Hold on. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Dang. I’m rambling. 

“Hey, Maya! Can you make this shorter or something?” (Maya is my awesome friend who thinks I’m funny. I’m not sure if that’s funny looking or funny as in laughing. Oh. I guess I might look funny too. I’ll just leave it as she thinks I’m funny but not funny looking. OMG! Just stop!!!)

{“Robin you have a funny looking brain that makes you HaHa funny, just to be clear. Then again mine is a bit funny looking too. hmmm…”}

I hope you have a safe and day and that I’ll talk with you again soon. Please feel free to leave a comment, go to the contact page and email me or share this post. I would love to hear from you.

Robin