Bipolar – Changing Meds Again


My title “Changing Meds Again” isn’t meant to be a negative statement. It is a part and a way of life for some people. People like myself.

I have many, many issues in the weave that is ME so please do not take what I say about myself and my plans (treatment and such) and assume they will work, or not, for you. They may, but that’s between your med provider and you.

Anyway. I’m at the point where my med provider (this time we’ll call her Toni) Toni, has put me on a “don’t argue, come see me every two weeks until this is straightened out.” schedule. Actually she told me something about my nerves and getting them to calm down. ;0)

Today I started Lyrica for FM. I’ve been waiting for 6 months for this to make it through insurance. (There’s that word again.) Speaking of nerves, it should help quiet a great many of mine I look forward to the possibilities.

Also, in the morning I start back on Wellbutrin. I was on it years ago and it seems like a good thing to try again.

Toni: “Are you depressed?”
Me: “When? Like right now?”
Toni: “All the time. Over all the things, would you say you are mostly happy or mostly sad?”
Me: Hemming an hawing… “Like all the time?”
Toni: gives me a look of ‘honestly, you silently scream depression creating irritation’
Me: regretfully admitting “Okay, yes, depressed. I didn’t want to admit that.”
Toni: “Because it confuses you being a mixed Bipolar?”
Me: “Yes!”
Toni: “Because you’re a manic depressive.”
Me: “Yes!!”

I’m on wellbutrin. I start taking it tomorrow (Thursday) morning. We shall see.We shall see.

Heres my medication list for Bipolar and other mental alphabet soup:
Lamictal
Latuda
Wellbutrin
Diazepam
Lyrica (not directly in the list, but a major player in my new “list”)
Oxycodone  (not directly in the list, but a major player in my new “list”)

I fired my counselor. Talked to the head guy of counseling assignments. I explained the problem. She is only 4 years practicing while I need someone who can handle me. All of me. From the head to the toe… toes. From my head to my toes. Eh. From Arthritis and FM, to Bipolar and ADHD, from chronic pain to degenerative disk disease/arthritis in spine. I need someone who can help me focus and go through my day still being me but maybe being more experienced and work in biofeedback, mindfulness and neuroplasticity. With my medications I think this is the next logical step.

Medications are not going to fix me. They will hopefully allow me to function without… you know don’t you? Without the craziness running what feels like all the rest of my life.

I need to be able to manage. I must be able to succeed and what I want to do.

Bucket list? That’s for babies. Try barrel mitigated by soup.

Be well my friend. More later. I’m going to begin answering questions some people have been asking. I hope it will be helpful.

Ciao

Love to hear what you think. Please post a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s