Bipolar – Mother and Daughter, I Am Both

My father has stage four terminal cancer.

He is also an ass.

We’ve been getting along. Mostly because we don’t talk… especially me.

We went to dinner tonight my brother and his partner, the kids and myself, and mom and dad. Dinner was good. Conversation light.

I explained to my mother a few days ago that I wanted to know that my father somehow was proud of me in some way, that he approved of me. She said my kids are terrific, they’re great.

Not what I meant. Me. Myself. I.

I shared at dinner something I thought he might be proud of me about. I found a dog trainer that might help me turn Bailey into more than a pet. That’s always been the plan. I’ve saved up for a trainer to help Bailey and I learn. He thought it was a stupid idea and I can teach her to sit by myself. Then my brother’s partner piped up and offered to give me a book and learn from that. No one wanted to know I was being serious or what I was talking about.

I mentioned she was to be trained more than a pet because she’s a service dog (in training). He laid into me about that too. I was going to do it illegally and I didn’t know what I was doing. I was going to get into trouble.

I tried to explain, calmly I thought, that I know about licensing service dogs in this state and there is no regulation or anything in this state. You can register your service dog, but it isn’t a law. It’s really just cool right?

I might be a little old to want my father’s approval before he leaves us for good… but I don’t think so. It’s always been this way with he and I. He always expects and thinks that I make bad decisions. I don’t know why I open my big mouth and give him the opportunity to emotionally smack me around again.

I was giving up on trying to explain things to him when he piped up and said, “We just have to stop talking now or we’re going to fight.”

Ass hole.

Sorry my friends, but that’s what I think and how I feel. I reach out from time to time. He smacks me back. It’s about time I stopped giving him the opportunity. He’s not even impressed that I have a patent pending. Wow right?

On that note let me sign off by saying I am the inventor of the:

Ice Glove, the only glove that ices your whole hand.  (Patent Pending)

Robin Paterson…. That would be me. ;0)

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