I’ve had severe anxiety problems for years. When I started back to college last fall the problem intensified. Some days I was so terrified I’d sit on the sofa and cry. That is not conducive to doing homework. There were no papers written those days. Papers! Those were the worst! I had the same teacher and he wanted a total of four papers for the quarter.

Eventually I went to my doctor the day after I had a meltdown and was given a prescription for a chill pill that I could take regularly, daily.  Finally someone had listened to me and seen that my level of anxiety was way too high for me to function. The pills took effect right away. The very next day I was doing homework. Now it hasn’t been a miracle pill. I don’t take it all the time. When I feel the skin on my back start to tighten and climb up my neck and I start to breathe hard I know it’s time to go get one before I get out of control.

It’s best to stay on top of it. It’s like not having an interruption of my cell phone service.

I’ve just had to take one a little bit ago. I had to stop studying and close my book. It was getting too stressful. I have to finish reading a second chapter, watch two videos and then take an online test on it all online. I’d like to finish it tonight. I have three poems due Monday in my Introduction to Creative Writing class. They don’t feel ready at all. And she has homework due that day too. I have a lot to do. Oh, and I have a presentation to give in another class on Monday.

So I had to have a pill. So I could chill. I’ve been doing this and watching Ellen. I’ll be ready to get back to studying after Ellen. The pill will be working and I’ll be done here. I’ll be confident… and let me tell you… the pills have helped me have some confidence because I’m not so busy being terrified and paralyzed.