School starts in two days. Yesterday I had my first adrenaline mainlining anxiety day of the school year. 

I tried to be strong and relax, but I had to take half a chill pill early in the day. It didn’t help. I tried not to take the other half because I only get 10 a month. I got into bed and my anxiety ramped up higher. I had to take the other half. 

Eventually, I slept.

I’m once again forced to try all the methods to reduce anxiety that I have learned… but deep down I don’t believe any of them will help, they never have.

I’m tired of being a victim of my own brain. So tired.