A lot of the time I hesitate to post because I don’t know what you, my reader, expects to read. I struggle with this every day. I could tell you about my day, but that’s so boring – dull! I could stick to only write about myself and what I’ve learned about Bipolar, but I really feel strongly that this kind of important thing deserves a website of its own so that people in pain or who are looking for answers can go to that site and find answers and acceptance right away. So, I’m developing a website to do just that.
I have Bipolar Disorder Type 1 with mixed states. I also entertain much of the rest of the alphabet. I could drone on and on and try to… well, I think you know where that was going.
Basically I’m a normal 55 year single mom of three who is interesting and has a good sense of humor. I have some compelling stuff following me around that makes me complicated, but who doesn’t? Surely everyone has experienced the strange things accompanying Bipolar, anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD, FM, OA, etc.
I have a Japanese Fighting fish like all your neighbors do and speaking of neighbors, also just like you, I politely file noise complaints regarding one nice household whenever my TV starts to loudly rattle. Seriously.
I’m so normal I could bore you silly. Although… did I mention my eldest daughter will be moving in with me in a few months? (Honestly, it’s for the best. I need the support and we can both use help with housing expenses.)
In fact things are sooo boring that I’m going to need to graduate from college with another bachelors degree and I’m going to have two sons and a daughter instead of what has been the standard at my house with two daughters and a son.
I am first and foremost a woman who deals with an incurable illness and will continue to do so until I die. Well, and perhaps afterward too. I mean, who really knows?
If you don’t mind too much, I’m going to write about all of these things. I might even add in the bits where one of my family members believes that God has them on this earth for only one reason and that is to save his children and to draw them back to Him because they are lost.
Maybe I’ll recount some of my experiences growing upon a ranch as a teen who presented with Bipolar at a very young age and how well that went over with my undiagnosed Bipolar father. Maybe I’ll include fun times at the church I was attending that was into casting out demons. Yeah. Fun times.
Have I mentioned I went to Bible College searching for God? I wanted so desperately for Him to take away the pain I felt that was crushing me from within every day. No? Bipolar, prayer, and demonic possession… seems like there’s a story in there, somewhere.
What’s on your mind? Should I throw caution to the wind and open up a bit more? It all, and I do mean all, ties directly back into this sickness, this life long illness I struggle with. It is all infused with, you know it, Bipolar.
I don’t believe it is a disorder. I believe it’s a disease, an illness and should be treated with the respect it deserves… that we deserve.
Talk to me my Readers. Tell me what you think. Do you have questions? I can’t guarantee I’ll answer, but I’ll read all of them. 🤔
2 thoughts on “Bipolar: It Is Very Difficult to Know”
I have a degree from a Bible college. The staff there had been instructed not to practice the casting out of demons. Of course some disregarded this. They sought to cast them out anyway. They were supposed to protect we students. I pretended to cooperate with them. and when they demanded that a demon give them it’s name, I made up names. I would say its name was something like “Hatred.” Then they spent hours trying to talk to it, demand that it leave, and pray it out of me. If didn’t work. Later, after thinking about it, I reported them to the Dean of Women. She was alarmed and protective of me. She said I did the right thing coming to her. The next day my emotions went nuts again and I forced myself not to explode in the lunch line. I graduated from there in 1986.
I’m still struggling. I still don’t have demons. Now, I have information. I know what’s wrong with me. I’m able to do things I never could do before I received medical treatment. I have an illness. I reject the idea that an army of demonic hosts constantly are trying to destroy me.
I hope you know with certainty, that you are NOT possessed by any entity. You, like myself and many others, suffer from a crushing illness that is incurable and very destructive. We must always remain vigilant of it remember that it raises our emotions above those of others.
Be at peace. You have no demonic guests staying in you. You can strive to be UNSTOPPABLE. Work hard. Learn how to deal with yourself. Seek help. You can fight this. You can fight this!
I went to a church camp that said I was possessed by a demon once. Couldn’t pray it out because well it was a mental illness.
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