During the last few months I’ve begun to realize how I wear my illnesses.
What I mean is that I’ve always been pretty aware of what’s been going on in my head, but I have never looked at myself from the outside – in.
Because of this new awareness and the sense of warning and alarm that’s come with it, I’m going to post what I was originally going to post tomorrow. I’ve made so many changes and worked on it so long that what was supposed to be a simple thing has tied my brain in knots.
I can “see” these imaginary knots in my head. That’s just fine. What you might see when you read the finished post will probably be different than I intended.
I don’t want you to read any of my posts and be turned off by it because it sounds like I’m unhinged. I might be, but I don’t usually want people to know about that. I like to think that I’ll give you some kind of warning if that happens.
I’m lear.ning what I might seem to be saying to someone when I hear myself say something I think is completely innocent but turns out to be something horrible.
So, when I’ve slept, had some exercise, eaten and warmed up my brain I’ll try to talk about what’s on my mind right now.
Yeah. Clean out the memory cache. Power down for the night.
It’s time to stop myself from doing anything else, but go to sleep.