Some people say that “other” people have problems. Then there are people who, well, are, uh, kind of, um, well, I’m not sure I should talk about them that way when I’ve never actually met them before. Anyway. Let me introduce you to invisible Al over at Rent A Center on this cold Valentine’s night.

The following is a transcript of the accompanying video (just in case you miss some of the audio, you really need to hear it…). I took this video at 4:00p.m. today in Parkland, WA while waiting for an appointment in my car. I quickly ditched the car and ran into the building. It didn’t help. The rest… is in the video. I let it speak for itself. What you don’t hear, well, I’ll let you work that bit out. SEE VIDEO BELOW

Special Valentines to all my QFC workers, they work so hard. They deserve to relax and kick back, and that’s why I have this promotion going on!

50% off recliners, mattresses, for all my QFC workers, who work so hard.

For most people, they get generic cards, candies, but here you can take the game to another level. Do something special for her, she’s been hinting that she wants a new washer and dryer, but you did not listen. But that’s okay because today we can fix your bad hearing. Today we can fix your bad judgment. Today we can fix that economically because we can fix that for a little over nothing. We have one spot available for delivery today. Who is going to be that special person to take the game on Valentine’s?

Someone is going to be extremely happy with this Valentine’s gift today. Come into Rent A Center and see Big Al and we’ll just that. What we’ll do is get you what you want, what she wants. Whatever that significant other has been talking about, been hinting to you, today you can fix that.