Let me see if I can figure out how to explain what I mean. I used to be a devout Christian… for like twenty five years. Then I walked away. I have my reasons and they aren’t the issue right now. What is is the way someone just tried to force me back into the fold. She blackmailed me into reading the Bible to get something she had that I wanted. It was supposed to be a gift from God to her. How dare she share it only with those she deems worthy?
She told me I was driving my youngest daughter to misery and rejection… that I didn’t want her anymore. I called my daughter after the “spiritual” phone call and asked her if she understood. She’s all, “I know you were just pissed at Kyle.” There was no reason to worry. She doesn’t know my kids. I do.
So the rape bit. Rape is when one forces one’s will upon another in a violent and vile way. In most contexts this means sexually. I think it can mean other things than just sexually… consider even spiritually.
I respectfully listened to her all the while shaking my head in amazement in her self-righteousness and god-like comments. She proclaimed that the Bible school I attended taught lies, that I didn’t know what it meant to be a Christian, that I never was a Christian, that there is no eternal life.
Wow. Today I cried a little. She really hurt me. A member of my own family attacking me like that…. On and on she went. I just listened because every time I said something she yelled at me and shouted till I stopped talking. I was safer just to take it. If I hung up it would start an unending saga of hate and grieve and drama that I so desperately wish to avoid.
This one sided conversation brought into the open the odoriferous self righteousness of one individual and spew it upon my spirit… and it hurt. It violated me.