It’s 9:30 am and I’m waiting to do in to see my med provider before heading to Seattle with my son (19) and daughter (17) for the day. I’m still not up to a satisfactory dosage of my Lamictal yet and this chill pill I take sometimes kicks my butt too much. Wanna chill, not sleep while driving. .. the next day.
I’m still talking way too much and too fast. It, I, annoy the kids to death. The don’t bother to talk. I do it for everyone.
I feel shame and I grieve for the things I miss they might have shared while I rambled on and on about…?
I’ve made Syd come in with me. I bother her the most. My med provider (Jane) and I don’t communicate well and I’m bad enough that I really need her to understand what is meant when she says she wants to kill me. That needs to stop.
I’ll let you know how it all turns out.