I’ve been despairing that not attending classes this quarter will drop me down the chute to the hell that is a bipolar episode. One day to the next I’ve been wavering this way and that trying to decide how I will handle this free time. We have some family issues going on that take time, but I still have all 24 hours of each day inside of my own head.

I love to read.

I love to write.

I have abundant time to do both right now so the logical thing would be for me to do them. Right? Maybe. It depends on the mood I woke up in and what I can do to improve it if it needs improving upon. Today, it doesn’t need improving. I’m in a good mood and even spent some time at my Mom’s house when my brother Tony took her lunch. He gets together with her once a week for lunch or something else. Kyle and I took Bailey over to play with Cricket, Mom’s Jack Russel Terrier. We had a nice time. I stayed calm the whole time. I even had some fun.

I’ve been surfing the web looking for news websites I could visit regularly to get ideas for stories for about a week now. So far I’m less than enthused. I don’t really want to buy a subscription to the New York Times for the web and tablet spring special price of $2.50 a week (going back to $5.00 a week when the promotion is over).

I clicked here and I clicked there and I finally ended up someplace interesting. I found an article “The Secret You Need to Know About Ebooks” on The Book Insider website. It had a link to one of those sites where you can find actual really good books for free or really cheap. A lot of books. I typically ignore sites like this but I surprised myself this time and signed up. Then I checked some boxes saying what I was interested in and Shaazzam! FREE BOOKS. Books I’ll actually read them. Maybe. It depends on how manic I become.

After spending about an hour carefully selecting books to “read” because we all know I’ll read them all, I experienced a feeling. I felt like I’d found something I was looking for.

Words. We all use them. Some of us use them for good and some for bad but we all use them. Now I have a wealth of books to read and learn from. Books to consider and be instructed in the fine art of writing by. And, probably some books I’ll just delete and not waste my time with. Nevertheless, I have books.

I’ve been reading a substantial amount over the last week or so and I was starting to tire of it, which is bad. Then I found all these free and low cost books and the manic bit of myself was awakened. I like it when it is awake. It feels good. I can do amazing things when I’m a bit manic. The trick is to not let it take me over.

The plan, if it can be said to be a plan, is to read and write and be as productive as I can for as long as I can. It will stop, this manic touch. The question is will I be in a good place when it does.

In the meantime let’s load these ponies up in the truck and see how far we can take them.

It’s exciting to be a bit manic! Let’s just hope I can keep it under control.

Now that’s a silly thing to say if I ever heard one.