Bipolar – Humiliation and Money

/ Robin

Money.

If you’re like me you’ve messed up your finances more that 4 or 5 times. Maybe you live on a small income from the State and help from your mother who is 72. I find being poor humiliating. Please don’t tell me I shouldn’t. I do. I will. I suppose. How about you?

One of my kids suggested to me that I go to GoFundMe and try to raise money so I could go see my eldest in the military clear across the country. She’s my best friend. I miss her so. The other two kids and I have totally unique relationships with me. I love them all so much. But back to money and humiliation.

I’ve started a fund raising drive on GoFundMe. I let it post it to Facebook so all my friends know now. Today I added an update telling them everything accept that I’m Bipolar. I’ll do that tomorrow. Hopefully someone will have read it by then so they won’t be to blindsided when they learn it. I even put both the last names I use. I’ve tried to keep my Bipolar writings separate from my other work and world. Have you done that too?  With Google and Facebook hooking everything together it’s hard to do. So now all my “friends” know me by my maiden name and my married name. They can find this blog if they look for me. I’m out there now.

So my friends let me show you what I’ve done and put forth the same inquiry to you that I have to everyone else. Will you help me?

Bipolar – Neurologist

/ Robin

This is a snap shot of most of my medications and supplements right now.

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And a glass of milk.

Remember,  even when you’re super messed up stopping your meds could kill you so be smart and arrange with someone you trust to make you take your meds when you crash,  and we all do eventually. 

Surround yourself with great people, people you admire. Find folks you want to be like and study them. You need
not know them personally.

So, take your meds AND strive to be like the people you hold in the highest respect and admiration.

Be well my friends.

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Bipolar – Good Pride

/ Robin

A few hours ago my eldest daughter became a certified air traffic controller!
I’m so proud.  I wish I could afford to go see her.  She’s in Florida and I’m in Washington State.

This is one happy mom!

Check out her new thingie.

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Bipolar – Remember the the Phoenix

/ Robin / 1 Comment

Remember the Phoenix

I learned that today. I listen to college level courses at The Great Courses and today I was listening to “Mind, Body Medicine: new science of optimal health” and in the lesson the instructor said something like this:

Never forget the phoenix for the ashes.

I’ve heard that or similar sayings before. I had just spent the last 3 hours trying not to break down and cry after pouring some coffee for myself. And no, I did not spill it. But I did sit down and realize I need to get on top of what was happening with me quickly. I took my prescribed medications for these situations.

I don’t remember how exactly I managed it but I went through the part of my lesson for today and started meditating. No, I’m not religious in any way. But, meditation is a discipline unto itself and is time tested to heal the human mind. I’m willing to give it a go. So I spent the 30 seconds I was able to focus on sitting down when I stood up to try again. Why? The lecturer said I could if I wanted to. So I did.

Oh, yes, the lecture was partly on meditation. I forgot my address today. My social security number two days ago and my phone number and my soc number mixed together (the first three numbers are the same, just in different ways.). So, forgive me for getting this mixed up. Oh my stars. (Thank you Bewitched)

Then I looked at my puppy Bailey and remembered that she’s learning to be my companion/service dog. I needed to let her be that for me now. I trained her. It’s great because our attention spans are about the same. 5-15 minutes tops. We trained three times today. The last time she carried a piece of mail from the mailbox all the way to the house, in the house and up the stairs. Wow! This was only the second time I’ve tried to get her to carry the mail. She did it the first time, but I got it from her at the door.

So Bailey and a bird called the Phoenix reminded me that I need to take care of myself every minute.

My father is 73 and has a two inch spot in his lung. We’ve had our differences and aren’t buddies, but… he’s my dad.

I would like to not have ADHD so I can deal with one thing at a time, one thing at a time. Uhh… Makes me crazy. Me, my brain… makes me “crazy”.

Peace to the Phoenix. More soon my friend.

Bipolar – The Friend That Never Leaves

/ Robin

Well, she does rather enjoy chasing and eating leaves. There are no leaves on my back porch.

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This is my Bailey. Those are her chair and leaf.  Think… phoenix.

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