I’d like to think that I’m eclectic. Maybe its because in addition to hosting Bipolar 1 I’m also providing a home for the delightful yet unpretentious full blown dalliance of ADHD. For the moment sidestep everything accept the fact that my grey cells are no place for the faint of heart.
Translation: Stick my brain bits of everything in a blender and when it stops… eclectic is what you get. Eclectic. That’s me. My brain gobbles up anything and everything and shoots out something cool, something made from various different sources, something transcending one single idea. I think.
Thinking of my brain, of me, as being eclectic is a gift. Why? You ask? It’s simple. Eclectic takes the best of many different systems (I hope I stick with the best) and make them into something new. Let me try something.
1. I have Bipolar Type 1. I cycle rapidly and/or experience mixed states. Today I’m rumbling on towards mania.
2. I have ADHD. I experience what I think of as “wandering brain syndrome”.
3. Add BP1 with ADHD and you have a hopped up manic or depressed (or both) brain that can’t sit still.
Eclectic. . . I hope.
While I enjoy the thrill of discovery that I find accompanies this eclectica, I also find that as brilliant as I consider my ideas and such to be… I often forget what I was being so brilliant about.
My attention span is, um, alright – I barely have an attention span. And what is a “span” and how does it attend? What?
Talk about sucking.
I carry pads of paper or my smartphone. My phone is cool because my notes (I use GNotes) on it are synced with the same app on my Chromebook. I can keep track of what I was thinking pretty much all the time. I may experience “wandering brain syndrome” a bit more energetically. When this happens, I’ll probably (usually) forget that I even took notes.
I might have worked out how to feed the planet, the whole planet, in one month!
Damn. Wander where it went?
The reason I’m dedicating this post to having an eclectic (BP1/ADHD) brain is because I find myself being stuck mentally and not able to focus on what I want to say here. Say to you. My brain draws information from anything it wants to and sticks them together. I do enjoy it when the ideas stick together on their own.
Wait, back on track please.
Right. I think sometimes that I’m writing this blog (Redux – doing over) so I can share my journey of living with BP1 with you. Never mind that both depression and mania tend to make it difficult to really focus on doing something as specific as writing and making sense when I do it.
Translation: I want to talk about so many things all the time… all the time… that I always want to talk about things I don’t think will fit here. So I write nothing. My ADHD is perfectly happy with the situation. It’s already bored and off to the next thing.
The way my brain works is very similar to the way our puppy’s brain works – it never stops!
All this is just to say that I’ve finally come to the conclusion that it’s okay, even healthy, for me to write on whatever my brain is playing with at the moment.
It is my hope that my BP1 and ADHD will join forces and keep you interested.
I hear-by grant to my brain all rights and privileges due when I experience a moment of clarity.
What was I talking about?