I’ve been thinking about death… Not mine, my father’s. Suddenly faced with my father being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and being told he only has months left with us I’m forced to consider how I’m going to deal with something tragic and close to my heart.

In other wards… Am I going to lose my shit and if yes (obviously), to what degree? How are my brain and I going to deal with this?

I’m sitting in his hospital room watching him almost sleep and listening to him groan in pain. I never knew cancer could be so painful. He’s in terrible pain. I’m staying here with my mom for a while now that my brother and his partner have gone home. I’m here for both of them, but especially for her.

I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out… In the fullness of time.