I wanted to share with you what happens with me on a typical night when I can’t sleep… such as tonight.

This is the second night in a row that I’ve not been able to sleep. I’m so tired yet sleep flees from me. I have things on my mind that I’ve tried to get to go away. I’ve written them down. I’ve talked about them. I’ve walked on my elliptical for the second time today. I’ve taken my sleeping pill and my regular meds. I’m clearly not asleep. They just won’t stop. Maybe I’ll try reading some more when I go back to bed.

I’m struggling with three things. First, one of my kids is struggling and that’s hard. Second, something is wrong with my car and has been since I got snow tires put on. I got snow tires a couple of weeks ago. Ever since they loaded my old tires and wheels in the trunk and back seat the car has ridden low in the back end. Even now that they are out of the car it still rides low. The backend is noticeably lower than the frontend. I guess it’s the shocks or struts. She’s an old car. I hope it wasn’t just “their time” to fail because of its age. The timing would be awfully strange. And third, I have a credit card that has what to me is a high balance. The card has been active since April this year. According to me, when I look over the charges, there is nothing near the balance that has been charged. Let me put that a different way. It says my balance is one thing, but it doesn’t appear to me to total that much in the actual charges.

Now, I know I can’t do anything about these things right now, but I can do this. I can write about it. I know I might not be able to help my kid. I know I may have to pay to fix my car. I know I may have spent more than I think I have. These are all bad options. I can’t do anything about them at 11:38 at night.

Deep breath. Ah. Time to find that YouTube playlist I made for helping me sleep. It has a 30 minutes “talk down” guided meditation video then has about eight hours of soothing nature sounds like of rain in the woods or waves and maybe a little music. That’s what I’ll try next. Read then YouTube.

Wish me luck.