We had to put down our cat Lincoln today. He was 20 years old. I cried a lot. My heart broke.

Let me see if I can figure out how to explain what I mean. I used to be a devout Christian… for like twenty five years. Then I walked away. I have my reasons and they aren’t the issue right now. What is is the way someone just tried to force me back into the fold. She blackmailed me into reading the Bible to get something she had that I wanted. It was supposed to be a gift from God to her. How dare she share it only with those she deems worthy?

She told me I was driving my youngest daughter to misery and rejection… that I didn’t want her anymore. I called my daughter after the “spiritual” phone call and asked her if she understood. She’s all, “I know you were just pissed at Kyle.” There was no reason to worry. She doesn’t know my kids. I do.

So the rape bit. Rape is when one forces one’s will upon another in a violent and vile way. In most contexts this means sexually. I think it can mean other things than just sexually… consider even spiritually.

I respectfully listened to her all the while shaking my head in amazement in her self-righteousness and god-like comments. She proclaimed that the Bible school I attended taught lies, that I didn’t know what it meant to be a Christian, that I never was a Christian, that there is no eternal life.

Wow. Today I cried a little. She really hurt me. A member of my own family attacking me like that…. On and on she went. I just listened because every time I said something she yelled at me and shouted till I stopped talking. I was safer just to take it. If I hung up it would start an unending saga of hate and grieve and drama that I so desperately wish to avoid.

This one sided conversation brought into the open the odoriferous self righteousness of one individual and spew it upon my spirit… and it hurt. It violated me.

I know there isn’t much time left, but go see where Santa is. NORAD tracks his journey. We watch him every year. Go on, go see!

NORAD Santa Tracker

Both eyes work at a distance of about 3 feet and beyond. It’s crap closer than that. I’m going to need reading glasses. I wonder how it will change how I draw. I know I haven’t drawn for a long time, but I’ve been gathering my stuff to get at it again. So how will this work? Will I waggle my head all over the place? I did have bi-focals before surgery so I imagine it will be about the same.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the good news with you.

I have new eyes!

Yep, had my left eye done last Thursday and am having the right one done tomorrow. So far so good with the new eye. The day after surgery my eye was already 30/20. It’s like a miracle. At first I couldn’t see close up at all, but now, if I close my bad eye I can read a little. I’ll probably need reading glasses.

“Cataracts are cloudy areas in the lens of the eye that can cause changes in vision. Symptoms of cataracts include cloudy or fuzzy vision as well as sensitivity to glare. Cataracts are treated with surgery.”

Cataracts at WebMD

They tape your eye lid shut after surgery. With all my swelling of the lids I couldn’t see anything for a bit more than the first day. It was very strange and a little scary. I have to put 2 drops in the operated on eye 4 times a day. It makes it feel gooy. I just want to clean it off and give it a good rubbing.

So here’s to tomorrow and one more good eye.

I”m 46.